One year and counting . . .

First, I just wanted to send a shout out to all my G11 homies and say happy anniversary!

What a difference a year makes?

I’m not really sure . . .

I have been here for a year. I’m the type of person that likes to reflect (can’t you tell) and I usually do some sort of reflecting on big dates- New Years, birthdays, anniversaries of things. So I’ve been thinking a lot about the past year and where I am, what I’ve learned, how things have gone etc. For some reason I’m having trouble summing up the year. The first thing to do is to look back and see what my goals and expectations were for this year. The problem with this is that I was pretty vague in my goals and expectations (they were not SMART). Things like “learn about a new culture” and “integrate my self into my community.” While these goals have lots of touchy feely appeal, they are not really that specific. What does it mean to be integrated? Does it mean that I know people and feel comfortable in town? Or does it mean that I feel useful in my work? Or maybe does it mean that I understand things around me? It could mean all or none of these things and more. Learning about a new culture . . . I know more about Albania than I did a year ago, but do I know everything? No, of course not. I learn new things every day.

As far as projects go, I don’t think that I’ve been able to accomplish much this year, but I’m also not surprised. One of the first things we heard (and heard over and over and over) in training was that we would probably spend most of the first year doing IRB (Intentional Relationship Building- getting lots of coffee) and figuring things out and not much time actually “working”. What I have accomplished: working with a team of 7 girls for 5 months and taking them to the MUN conference; support on English skills, facilitation, computer usage and personal support to the employees in the World Vision Diber office; lots of meetings about starting a radio station, without much success yet.

Personally, my goals were a little bit clearer. I wanted to see how I did living alone, learn to knit and cook more. Check, check and check. Living alone has been hard (when I say alone, I really mean alone and far away from everyone that has every known me before) but made easier by the ability to communicate often with my friends and family back home and by a great support system in Peace Corps. In some ways, living alone (really alone) was a bit of a challenge that I gave myself. I needed to see if I could do it. But living alone also focuses for me the importance of a community and makes me realize how important my community at home is and how wonderful they are. The truth is this really sets off the “integrate into community” goal; because I know what it is like to really be a member of a community I realize that I am not really integrated into the community here. I was talking the other day with Kenji about this. He has been here a year longer than I have and is getting ready to leave in a few months. When I asked him whether or not he felt like he was integrated into the community, he answered that he felt like he had a place in the community, that he felt comfortable here and that he usually felt useful. Even if I don't feel completely integrated into my community in my town, I have found a great community with the other volunteers. Something that you should know about PC Albania Group 11- we really like each other. We like hanging out together, we like having parties, we like traveling to see each other all over the country. I'm really lucky to have found a bunch of great people that I can rely on to help me through my rough times and celebrate the good times. I hope that the other volunteers that I have met here will continue to be a part of my life for a long time once we go our separate ways next year.

Two years seems like a long time when you sign up; it feels like a long time when you are starting. When I think about it though, two years is really not long enough. Because of what I have been able to get done in the past year, I realize that there will be a lot that I won’t be able to get to in the next year. I know that this sounds negative, but I don’t think that it is. I don’t mean it that way. I wish that I could come into a town and start a project this minute, but it just doesn’t work that way. I have ideas and I hope that I can at least get them started. Kenji’s plani i madh (big idea) was to start a radio station. I don’t think that this will be realized before he leaves in three months. It may not even happen before I leave in a year and three months. But he has planted the idea and hopefully it will not die when he leaves. I am starting to have my own big ideas- a youth center in my town. If I can get the ball rolling, start the first meetings, get the idea into other people’s heads then I can come back and visit in 5 years and see the youth center that I helped to start . . .