This week at my school, the seniors are doing their portfolio presentations. The portfolios hold all of their best work from the past four years: papers, projects, pictures, awards and whatever else they can fit into it. The presentation is their chance to talk about all the stuff they've done and showcase their work. As I've been watching some of these presentations, I have been thinking a lot about my senior year and my portfolio presentation and my friends. It got me thinking about how the two people that I was closest to then are no longer a part of my life and how sad that is.
I never thought at the time that I would be looking back 7 years later and wondering what went wrong with our friendships. With Derek, the answer is a little bit eaiser. He left DU, I went abroad, we drifted apart and then stopped talking all together. With Nichole, the situation is a bit more complicated. I never thought that anything could come between me and Nichole. We had been there for eachother through it all: bad boyfriends, school stress, parent issues. Even living 3000 miles away didn't tarnish our friendship. We talked often, hung out whenever she was home and I even went to visit her at Smith twice.
When she moved back to Denver, it was only natural that we would move in together. A lot of people warned me about living with friends: the fastest way to ruin a friendship is sex, the second fastest is becoming roommates. But is wasn't like that for us. We lived together great. I liked to cook, she liked to clean. Neither one of us had a lot of loud parties. Our movie collections complemented eachother without too many duplicates. We were good friends, but we had our own seperate lives. We always knew that we were there for eachother to talk to. Occasionally we would have some issues (don't even get me started on the whole Irene business), but overall we lived together well. Which is why the whole thing is still so upsetting to me. I don't even really know what happened. Now I know she was unhappy, but at the time, she didn't confide in me about what was going on. She just left. After trying to get in touch with her about her bed, I haven't attempted communication. I know (from her blog and the grapevine) that she came home for Christmas and Spring Break. More than anything, I just want to know her side of the story. Was she as hurt over the events that went down as I was? Does she ever think about me and what our friendship could have been?
I look back at that period at the end of our senior year with some degree of sadness, because I never though it would be quite like this. I hope that these kids stay better friends than we managed to.
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1 comment:
Some people take the easy way out - they choose to cut themselves off, sever ties, and flee. Weak.
You tried to make contact; she chose to stay out of touch. To my mind, there is little else you can do, and frankly, little else to be gained here. If her coping mechanism is flight, then what have you lost? Seems to me that your friendship should be worth more than this...
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