"I like you." Why can't I just say that? Why do my words get all tied up and my brain gets stupid and I chicken out like the big fucking stupid shy unconfident loser that I seem to be? So there's this guy. Let's call him "Erik"*. I like him. I have him for some time now. We are friends and I see him on a pretty regular basis. The only time that I have even come close to acting on my feelings was new years this year in which I made out with him at midnight. The only problem was, that it was a big party, I was pretty drunk and I kissed a whole lot of other people too (someday I'll have to tell my grandkids about making out with a boy while in line for the bathroom. . . oh, fun times). When I saw him the next day, he didn't say anything about it and neither did I. It was like it never even happened. There's talking and flirting and that's all great, but at the end of the night it's just "see you later, drive safe." Am I just a complete idiot? No, don't answer that, I already know that I am. Someday I won't be an idiot. Someday I'll say what I feel. Someday.

*names have probably not been changed to protect the innocent